Profil von 庆斌...Nothing Not Lost...♪FotosBlogListenMehr  |  Extras Hilfe |
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今日是２００８年３月２４日，鄙人很伤心，并郑重宣布：快来踩踩尼度！拯救尼个被遗弃噶Blog！！
...Nothing Not Lost...♪GO, GO, HAWK!
掏空自己比填满自己更舒服,但我做不到.___________________________________________________________________________
God is Punishing me!老毛病又犯了,我好没手尾啊!!!!连护照都会唔见得.... 超希望现实可以好似周星弛<大内密探零零发>里面讲甘:"世界上有D也好怪咖,你越是要去找一样也,距就越唔出现;但你越唔去找距,距就bum声弹返出来..." 快D出现啦护照护照! 我爱你啊护照,我发誓我永远都唔会忽略你,我会好细心甘照顾你...我想去旅游啊!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Shit! I was Fucked! 迷上火车人如果没什么兴趣那会变得多恐怖, 所以我决定迷上火车. 而且将来还要迷上更多! 造梦很小的时侯做梦,总会有一台可以随便调动频道的机器, 那是台很旧式的用手转频台的东西,后面有两条很长很长天线, 表面是棕色的... 我会先闭上眼睛想,今晚应该做些什么梦呢? 然后就不停地转台：有时候会看见一个巨大的超人在密密麻麻城市中追着我跑，跑好一个晚上...; 有时候会梦见自己飞上天,见到星月山,学校,飞过很恐怖的森林,回到广宁,回到家的阳台...;也有次梦见在学校饭堂拿菜,阿姨没有发给我饭菜,却给了我一块很漂亮的手表,我就坐在栏杆上向大家炫耀我的手表;有次还梦见父母去了,自己一个人在葬礼猛哭猛哭; 当然经常梦见自己变成隐形人,偷偷溜进女生宿舍干坏事...; 梦里还会时常出现自己喜欢的女生,或自己创造的女人,亲吻我后就会坐上一部难看的面包车远离我而去... 早上总是很不情愿地被阿姨或老师开灯弄醒, 我会把棉被蒙住脑袋竭力让梦再延长一下,可难听的音乐会再将我绕乱,惟有起床． 没有梦的时候会很害怕,不知道下床后该干些什么，更会失去对同房说话的欲望．现在发生过的梦一个也记不起来了,不知道是自己不再留意还是当真记不起,反正就很想回到那部可以随意转台的机器... 小时在旧屋,爸时常在睡前会给我和哥讲一些很恐怖的故事,什么老虎咬人人打老虎啊，党派间打仗血流成海啊之类,然后我就以那些基础做些很怪的梦,像在村里给一群僵尸围殴,我就跑呀跑,直到被逼到角落里便飞了起来~ 起来后还是很害怕,看见哥哥睡在旁边心才舒服一点... 现在给爸打电话会很开心,像在做梦... 即使他在长篇大论同样会很开心,我会恩恩地回答他所说的东西,当他快讲完的时候我会再补充两句,让他又长篇一轮,说什么根本不重要,只知道很舒服. 看过的电影,特别是西片,一句台词也记不起了,和做梦一样,只记得画面,记不得里面的人物说过什么干过什么...唉...佛祖,上帝,造物者,whatever it is or whoever s/he is, 请让我造梦吧,造很多很多很好的梦...谢了!
心灵旅程结束了漫长的旅程, 心情一直在变. 但很奇怪从来都感觉不到 '乱'. 直到回到广州, 病倒, 回家, 上机....逐渐地,心情开始没那么飘忽,'乱'却在最后侵蚀了我.
当一个人, 处于漫无目标, 无牵无挂, 日常生活很飘忽的时候, 精神状态会是很平静的. 因为本身就处于一个转变期, 动乱期, 时刻身处于'乱'当中,情感会慢慢地麻木, 理性会形成平静的大海,淹没情感...
但当日子开始固定下来, 回到父母身边, 见到了朋友, 熟悉的社交场所, 交流方式等等, 有了一套固定的情感表达方式, 表达对象, 情感世界就会像花一样慢慢地盛开, 感觉的能力会迅速加重, 这时候理性会处于劣势. 直到最后感受太多和太久而厌倦, 花朵就会枯毁.
我形容上面的第一种情况为A状态, 后者为B状态. 在一个人旅行的时候,我会经常拿自己的日记出来看, 甚至读出声来. 读完后会觉得非常舒服. 就好象一个处于A状态的人用读自己心灵的方式来寻求B的安慰. 而当处于B状态的时候, 在一段时间内是不会写日记的, 直到厌倦的感觉开始出现. 这样, 心灵会唤出呼声让你寻求B计划.
讲得很复杂, 归根到底是需要平衡.
经过这趟旅行的洗礼, 我似乎从生活中学到了一些东西, 是细节上的东西, AB各有一些. 我发现这种平衡的能力不是谁都能轻易地控制得了的, 需要勇气和智慧. 人要在A和B的状态下酝酿很久, 才能发现更多的东西, 然后将这些东西变为属于自己的智慧, 完善自己.
Overall, LIFE is still a unpredictable, big, funny thing. In the matter of fact, no one is the best on earth, the one who created us he is the best.
P.S 刚才和几位老友通了电话, 其中电话个边讲起IB考完试后,落到球场射两波时的感觉很舒服, 很舒服很舒服~ 我感觉到了,呵呵. The Art of TravelIf our lives are dominated by a search for happiness, then perhaps few activities reaveal as much about the dynamics of this quest —— in all its ardour and paradoxes —— than our travels. They express, however inarticulately, an understanding of what life might be about, outside of the constraints of work and of the struggle for survival.
THE OUTSIDER
Tell me, whom do you love most, you enigmatic man: your father, your mother, your sister or your brother?
I have neither father, nor mother, nor sister, nor brother.
Your friends?
you're using a word I've never understood.
Your country?
I don't know where that might lie.
Beauty?
I would love her with all my heart, if only she were a goddess and immortal.
Money?
I hate it as you hate God.
Well, then, what do you love, you strange outsider?
I love the clouds ... the clouds that pass by ... over there ... over there ... those lovely clouds!
—— Baudelaire 那山那人那狗人越苦, 想头就越多; 想头一多, 干头就多了. 累了就睡.醒了再说吧~ 哇啊啊啊~~~ 太开心了!
尼几日都响度睇男蓝世锦赛, 头个几场打得超差, 越睇就越心痛!! 曾经发誓过好几次唔好再睇乜叉中国男球, 费事整到自己唔开心... 琴晚始终瘾唔住睇左网上直播, 见有翻D起色. 今晚再睇, 真是太刺激太开心啦!! 哈哈哈哈~~~ 响最后个几分钟, 中国队仲落后紧, 我趁Time out时间立即跪响地上, 对住天花板默念:"God God! Please let the Chinese win Please let them win!!! I need you We need YOU!!" 我发誓从来都没甘虔诚地祈祷过上帝... 跟住——奇迹发生啦！！！！朱芳雨噶３分，王治郅噶上蓝，仲有王仕鹏噶最后一秒３分！！！！ 我兴奋到狂叫！ 仲跑过Roommate间房狂打我朋友！！
多谢你上帝比我一次信你噶机会！ 多谢你中国队比我一次狂颠噶机会！
所有精彩噶现实生活都是上帝捏写噶格林童话．
谢
Sex, Please —— we're Young & Chinese! These days many of us are walking on the wilder side. Sparked by the easing of government control over individual lifestyle choices and the spread of more permissive, Western attitudes toward sex, Chinese are copulating earlier, more often and with more partners than ever before. Today 70% of BeiJing residents say they have ahd sexual relations before marriage, compared with just 15.5% in 1989. A survey taken last january of seven majorcities found that among those 14 to 20, the average age of first sexual experience was 17.4, while those 31 to 40 had lost their virginity much later, at 24.1 years old.
... A survey by Shanghai medical researcher found that 65% of urban women undergoing abortions in 2004 were single, compared with just 25% in 1999. Rates of sexually transmitted diseases are skyrocketing too... with HIV infections growing most quickly among Chinese 15 to 24 years old. Brothels barely disguised as beauty salons crowd the streets... u know what I meant.
Those extra temptations have wreaked havoc on marriages, with 1.6 million couples divorcing in 2004, a 21% rise from the year before, according to the Ministry of Civil Affairs. "Before in society, we had a sense of right and wrong," says the Sexology Association's Hu. "Now, we can do whatever we want. But do we have any moral standards left?" Yet many young ppl were sick of the old time moral standards in virtue of the misleading antilogy and untruthful attitude.
A poll by a magazine found that 1/3 of young ppl under the age of 26 had no problem with extramarital affairs. In a country where there's little political autonomy for young ppl, at least there's plenty of free love.
"Maybe in the past everyone was obedient and listened to the old grannies who lectured on who you could have sex with and in what position, but we don't have time to listen. We're too busy having sex."
so freaking high this two days~!realli ppl, when u get high u will think about everyting(nothing) no more! and that's a gud thing i promise!
Trees Trees!!! 寒冰驾着泪,飞!身让冰河带动漂走,
寒把皮肉扯下绞碎,
痛往心内钻.
抓不住,就是抓不住.
呜啊啊~
别走,别走啊!!
唉, 飞! 飞吧~
寒冰驾着泪,
它就是方向!
隔着玻璃狂吻(%$@#...做乜唔复我电话? 你答我啦?!
...响边啊?你出来啦,我想见你!!
...惨啦,我好唔舍得你啊...你做乜唔理我?
...恩...甘算啦!你话过返到去回俾电话我咖!!唔好呃我啊!!
...送人返屋企?女仔?
...唔紧要啦!下次有机会先罗!
...呵呵...就你噶时间啦!九点之后我都得闲!
...也许今晚有一种心思走到你那...讲白了我有想满足你的念头...
...日后各走一方,恐怕以后也没见面的机会了.
...又唔见送我返去?讲笑遮...下次玩过啦...
... ....
琴晚10点就睡左. 今朝7点钟起床,拿住部手机发傻.
家阵最变态噶是,我可以很轻松地将收件箱用快键方式全部删除.
听晚离开,是要总结下了...睇下对新买噶星牌,就知道尼两个月步伐放得有几快,过程无疑很满足,很快乐,很够. 只是没一个异性进入过我躯壳,有的人是不可以,更多的是不希望.这很好,我也只是隔着玻璃狂吻而已,睇得很清楚,却连呼吸也感受不到. 好空...但玩够了,就没也可以左右到自己(Quoted from Alen).
P.S:同大部分朋友噶关系增进了不少! 留下了不少个美好的晚上. 多谢大家.
肤浅很好.1. 身边开始有很多个女仔,很多个选择...但就是没遇上触电噶感觉~
2. 现在画画就似做爱,精尽了,灵魂就干枯了.
3. 感觉20岁比18岁时仲要年轻!不知是好事定坏事.
4. 期待展、锋我三个人噶聚会,不知会不会有咩新变化产生.
5. 小学同学聚会,一点兴奋感和好奇感都无.
6. 想做极为出轨噶事,吓大家一跳!
7. 面皮厚了,思想俗了; 说话粗了,行动细了; 口水干了, 眼神定了; 望望手表, 感觉困了.
跟住就倾倾关于夜蒲噶体验...是连埋上一篇的同国外夜蒲好唔同,我硬是觉得响外边做咩事都简单好多,我是指人事本性方面... 响尼度所谓D蒲女,要同你讲feel,讲星座,讲默契,讲幽默感,讲有无部靓车,讲你关唔关心人.... 唔好甘麻烦啦老世~我净是想出来找个人玩扎,如果可以就一齐快脆地将D动物本性逼晒出来咯...掺进甘多想法做咩喔... 简单D好唔好? 我有次同大学D鬼仔出去DIZO玩(一间处于provindence市区噶DISCO),见到D女向舞池是甘乱扭箩友,是甘跳;而D仔就是甘东张西望, 哇....个种强烈而淫亵噶眼神是毫无掩饰甘暴露晒出来. 开始时我好反感: 乜尼度D人甘cheap咖, 好心你地绅士D啦... 其实, 返到来先发觉...到处都一样遮,只不过尼边戴多个面具而已, 既然尼种事本身就好cheap, 甘仲有咩高尚可贵可言喔? 即使你出来蒲左好耐, 玩得好似周星驰个出<<幸运一条龙>>里面个情圣甘出神入化, 有点遮?!~ 一样是好cheap遮!! 所以倒不如大胆D放晒D眼神出来电人, 直言"今晚饮得好晕啊, 不如送我返2046号房啊~?" 我一D都没教坏人噶意思, 只不过是想亲自阐释下尼种生活态度噶规则: 你唔敢玩, 就乖乖留响屋企, 唔 - 好 - 学 - 人 - 出 - 来 - 玩
讲甘噶也, 其实因为自己傻过, 自己比人点过... 金杯佬知啦, 有几个女仔扮晒也过我地卡玩, 穿着同个几个纹身好似话比大家知"我好蒲咖!我好玩得咖~!" 妖~ 又唔是得个闷玩! 就是死都吾比机会你赢,死都唔肯饮多D酒,死都要洁身自保... 喂喂! 仲有甘多人一齐陪你壮烈牺牲,你就衬后生豁出去啦~ 如果唔是你就真是浪费左上天比你创造快感和刺激噶机会了...
可能有人会认为我已经变得好蒲精,哼!我仲没HI到边呢~ 心理话我一D都唔羡慕尼个蒲精噶称号,我反而好羡慕个D有长久关系噶情侣...当然啦,个D是另一个问题~ 我清楚自己没够狠, 即使知道自己只要一返美国, 就可以拍拍屁股走人, 但每次玩完后都仲是有各种复杂噶心绪质问自己困绕自己... 有时候又会希望自己唔好狠... 经常响传统和颠倒传统之间徘徊, 因为心里希望有个思想纯浓噶人将我搭救出尼个怪圈:
尼个女噶要不就纯传统, 要不就纯反传统! 千其唔好矛盾合杂, 两者只捡一.
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